Welcome aboard!

We have a new neighbor three doors down the hall from us, a lovely woman who is not on a walker and seems to have all her marbles.  I am thrilled!  She moved in Saturday and as a duly charged badge-wearing Ambassador, it is my duty to welcome her and give her my number if she needs anything.  Bless her heart she got the whole picture right away.

First of all the elevator on our end of the building was out of order while repair men pounded away with a jack hammer to correct the bump on the entrance floor.  Add very loud banging to this story. So her movers had to haul her furniture, etc a good distance from the back of the building moving to the rhythm of the jack hammers below.  Ouch!

Then I went up to the third floor to get the new menu and calendar to deliver to her and when I came back, our crazy alcoholic neighbor was in a rocking chair near the neighbor's front door surrounded by 6 firemen/EMTs with a fire truck and an ambulance waiting down below.  They were taking her blood pressure and giving her oxygen.  She had a big black and blue bump on the side of her head but couldn't remember getting it or how.  So the movers were hauling a sofa delicately around this group.  Honest to God, I'm not making this up.  I'm not really complaining as those firemen are all young gorgeous hunks...they could take my blood pressure anytime.

I step into the new resident's apartment to deliver the menu and calendar and the poor woman is looking at me  like "What in the world is going on?"  I assured her that the patient would be okay, that she calls 911 about once a week.  They take her to the hospital, she sobers up, calls a cab and returns home a short time later.  She showed up about midnight after this episode.

Welcome to the good ship Lollipop!  I haven't laid eyes on our new neighbor since Saturday.  There will surely be a poem in here somewhere!

Tangled without the Zen

I should have known!  Zentangles are the perfect metaphor for my life right now minus the meditative, relaxing aspect.  Where to begin?  Six weeks ago I was dealing with bronchitis which seemed to never go away, just got a little better and then suddenly my heart started racing and I ended up in Park Plaza hospital for 3 days with sinus tachycardia.  I went there for an EKG with He-Who-Sleeps-A-Lot along, of course.  So then there was the problem of what to do with him when they decided to hospitalize me.  Thank goodness for wonderful friends who live near the hospital who came and picked him up and brought him home.  And I am so grateful for the wonderful support here at Brookdale that quickly responded with caregivers to come and check on him a few times a day.
I am happy to say that I am now feeling like my old self again just dealing with the record-breaking heat.  I treated myself to a pedicure and manicure yesterday and came away feeling like a new woman...need to do that more often!

He-Who is doing well physically but the memory is slightly declining which leads to very frustrating conversations like the following when we were out running errands:

Me:  "Would you like to eat lunch out on the way home?"
HW:  "Yes, I want to go to that place across the street>"
Me:  "The Chinese place, Qin Dynasty?
HW:  "  Yes, Chinese."
   I drive into the parking lot of the above restaurant right out the front gate of our community.  No parking anywhere...
HW:  "No, not here."
Me:  "You mean you want the Vietnamese place across the street?"
HW:  Angrily "No, no, just forget it.  I want the one across the street.  Go whereever!"
Me: "Point to where you want to go."
HW points to the north where a new Olive Garden has gone in.
Me:  " You want to go to the Olive Garden?  You want Italian food?"
HW:  "Yes."

This has to be as frustrating for him as it it for me but these kind of conversations are occurring more frequently now.  I'm learning to take deep breaths, ease up on the accelerator of life and go with the flow.  Patience has never been my greatest virtue but life seems to present the lessons one needs to learn, right?

And guess what!  My book club is discussing Still Alice this afternoon.  He-Who may attend and I hope he will add something from his own experience.  I will certainly add from mine.

P.S. My Zentangles class went well and several want to continue. More tangles to come!

Oh my but I am finally feeling close to normal though still coughing occasionally.  This has been a very long battle with bronchitis and antibiotics and steroids (which I hate taking).  And talk about boring for both me and especially He-Who.  I didn't feel like going anywhere or doing anything but watching movies for almost a month. Just managed to get laundry done and missed water aerobics totally. But I rediscovered Zentangles while cruising the Internet and find them comforting and soothing when I don't feel like doing anything else.  And I have volunteered to teach a class on Zentangles here the end of this month.  I'm hoping to get He-Who involved as I think it is something he could do and may enjoy.  It is so simple and yet gratifying and requires no talent or experience.

We seem to keep Walgreen's busy between us.  Just trying to keep our meds straight and filled sends us there at seems like at least once a week.  Our old Walgreen's was so helpful and gracious but the one near us now is SO busy they don't have time to remember us or be helpful.  Even their drive-through always has 3 or 4 cars lined up to both of their windows.
One of He-Who's meds has to be cut in half and when I do that, the chalky pill turns into mostly powder.  I complained to the doc who gave me a new prescription and said I could only get it at Walmart.  I went on the Brookdale bus to Walmart last week and the pharmacy said the prescription was wrong and I would have to go back to the doc to get it right.  Later on another trip to Walgreen's  I was told, "Yes, they can fill the correct size."  So now I must get hold of the doc to get her to send the correct amount to Walgreen's.  Geezus...and I wonder where my time goes.

The unrequested journey

The unrequested journey of caregiving, a gateway for self-study, learning, growing, healing, and personal transformation....I read that somewhere and it describes what this journey as an Alzheimer's caregiver has been.  I have learned patience that I never dreamed I would have.  I've always been a "let's get going with this so we can go on to the next great thing." sort of person.  Now my life moves at a snail's pace at times that may drive me crazy while teaching me to slow down and enjoy the moments.  One doesn't hurry an Alzheimer's patient!  It takes time for He-Who to process everything, every request, every instruction, every move.  So I have learned patience and timing.  I allow more time to get ready to go anywhere, to leave the house, to get in the car, out of the car, to the dining room.  

For the longest time after we moved here it bugged me that he always walked behind me when we went to the dining room or the mail box...several feet behind me.  I realize now that it could be because he is never sure where we are going even in our community.  He can't remember that we are going to the dining room to eat!  So now I walk much slower so that he is along side me.    Every time we leave the apartment must be a new adventure for him.

Oldest granddaughter graduates from high school

Today we drove to Clear Lake to computer shop with our oldest granddaughter, our graduation gift to her.  He-Who enjoyed every minute of it which made me happy.  He had little to say but was observing the whole process and didn't even bat an eye over the expense.  We followed the shopping with lunch at Red Lobster enjoying shrimp and those awesome cheese buttery biscuits.  A successful journey for all of us and always fun to hear granddaughter's plans for her future.  She's a determined young lady who will do amazing things I'm sure.

Another milestone

Oh my, but it seems like yesterday this blonde cutie was living with us and keeping us constantly entertained and here she is a high school grad.  A year early, no less after much hard work taking night classes and online classes along with a part-time job.  A real cause for celebration and He-Who loved every minute of it.  He was alert, attentive and managed to sit through all 550 grads getting diplomas after waiting an hour in the sun for the program to start.  What a guy!  We didn't get to bed until late so he slept 12 hours last night.

But today he seems to be really congested.  I'm hoping he hasn't caught his brother's terrible cough. I gave him some meds and hope they work.

 And he's disoriented somewhat...hard for him to get straight on what we did last night and little stuff about the security gate.  He got up and dressed eagerly to be ready for lunch with our other granddaughter and our daughter-in-law.  They came here for the graduation and to tour Rice University...a possible school for this granddaughter who graduates next year.  He Who enjoyed the lunch and was pretty chatty in the dining room.  It was so great to have them here for lunch and a visit before returning to San Antonio and I think they will return later this summer for another look at Rice...keeping our fingers crossed, of course.  She's also looking at UT Austin's Plan II program which I was in and I can't help but encourage that program and school as well.

A neighbor here who also attended UT's Engineering School when Ken was there questioned Ken about a professor this afternoon.  I was shocked that Ken couldn't remember anything about her...I had to fill him in that she was his mentor and advisor for his Master's and was the first female engineer to teach at UT.  He used to talk about her all the time.  His long-term memory has been pretty sharp so this was a surprise.  The neighbor printed out an article about her for him which was so nice as it brought it all back for him.  I love these moments when someone takes the time to help him out....very grateful as it means so much to him to savor those memories.

Rain and more rain

What way to spend a rainy Saturday afternoon is better than wine tasting in the Texas Hill Country? Here we are, a little damp, at Singing Waters Winery near Comfort, Texas.  Guitar playing in the other room and the rain coming down in sheets.  It was so much fun to relax and chill out with the family.  It had been way too long since we had done anything like that and we both loved it. And, of course, tasted some great wines and brought a bottle home.

However as the water continued to pour from the sky,I began to get anxious about our getting out of there and sure enough on the way back to I 10 the water was beginning to come over the roads.  When we got back to San Antonio, the sky was lighting up with lightening strikes which were really kinda pretty.  The next morning of course was when we heard the terrible news of the storm taking out the town of Wimberly.  I have weathered tropical storms and hurricanes and the flood in Houston and Alvin in '79 but had never seen water come down like we saw Saturday.  In '79 the Houston area got 20" in 24 hours and there was flooding but never has the city of Houston been paralyzed the way it was last weekend.

While in San Antonio, we toured some other retirement communities that offered continuing care with our son.  We revisited one that I had seen before but left less impressed that on our first visit.  The apartments have gorgeous full-size kitchens but no room for a table to eat on.  Very strange so crossed that one off the list.  Our daughter feels that it is time that we lived closer to one of our children and she may be right but we are just really getting settled in here and connected with new doctors (no small task).  We did find one Morningside community that we really liked and it has continuing care so that is a possibility on down the road.  The thought of getting He-Who acclimated to a new environment is daunting much less my finding my way around in a new city.  At the same time it may be wise to make the move while I can still drive and learn my way around.  Right now I'm tired just thinking about it and am going to play Scarlett O'Hara and "worry about that tomorrow."

Today is Thursday and they are still finding bodies and removing cars from previously flooded areas.  We returned on Tuesday between storms and made it home on back streets just fine...grateful to be home and living on the 2nd floor though no one in our community got any serious water damage.
We just attended the 1rst Annual Brookdale Dog Show...hilarious.  This dog's name is Angel.
I love being around them but so happy to not have one right now.

Dear Anne Lamott

 Dear Anne,

     Hi there from a devoted fan of you and your writing.  This is the obnoxious woman with the camera in the front row when you spoke in Houston.  If you will come back, I promise I will leave my camera at home...no, I can't do that but I will at least learn how to to turn off the flash and again I apologize for not knowing how before and being so annoying.
     Well, here's the deal...I would so love for you to write some more about loss.  I'm 78 years old and beginning to think that is just about all being old is about and it is just damn painful.  That is, it is painful if you give a shit about anything or anyone and I do and refuse to give up caring.  It is the caring that keeps me afloat as I have always believed that God's purpose for all of us is for us to live into our potential and support others in doing the same.  But in that caring comes the potential for loss and it is accelerated by aging.
      And it is constant when you live in a retirement community.  The good news is that while one is losing one's quick step, hearing, and one's vision dims, so are one's neighbors.  But along with that is other physical and mental problems that are more serious.  Eventually a friend or neighbor can no longer live independently and leaves.  An ambulance drives up on a regular basis...one day three were around.  The constant loss makes one hesitant to invest deeply in friends which is totally against my nature and another loss in a way.
     Add in one's own physical losses and the whole scene is rather painful and depressing.  No wonder so many elderly are on anti-depressants.  Surely there is a better answer.  Yes, I constantly remind myself of all the things I am grateful for...I'm not 78 in Katmandu picking through the pieces of my home to hold on to some semblance of the life I had before the quake....I am not living in a refugee tent outside of Yemen...I am not in California wondering if I will ever be able to water my grass.  I have so much to be grateful for but loss is always barking at my door.  I'm learning to deal with it and have found some other residents who are experiencing the same but it ain't easy.
    The greatest cure of course is to get off the Isle of the Blue Hairs occasionally.  The weekend in Colorado over Mother's Day without He-Who and being pampered by my niece and her partner were a huge spiritual lift for which I am so grateful to have them in my life.  And some retail therapy at the greatest shoe store in the country...Brown's Shoes in Ft. Collins...was once again wonderful.  I could become a shoeaholic if I lived there.  Such fun and funky shoes in narrow sizes!  And it snowed!
     Sunday we left the Isle and headed north to our daughter's in Conroe in their new apartment for a great lunch and a movie and a game of a new kind of Monopoly which was fun!
     This week I will drive us to San Antonio to go to a granddaughter's concert and hang out on the edge of the hill country and breathe deep.  I will be grateful that I can still drive and have such a great family.
      But dear Anne with such great wisdom and spiritual depth I would love to hear more from you about loss so if you don't have too much on your plate already, give it some thought.  I'm patient, no hurry.

With much admiration and appreciation,
Kay