Sunday, February 14, 2016
The week that wasn't....
Good grief! Am I hard headed? It takes a lot for me to get the message. Caregivers are vulnerable! I am vulnerable as a caregiver!. A week ago Tuesday everything was falling into place for the trip to Ft. Sill. My sister-in-law had talked He-Who- Sleeps-Alot into staying with them while I joined our daughter, her partner and granddaughter's boyfriend for the trip to OK. After many questions and explanations of what was in his suitcase along with written instructions to my sister-in-law for his meds and care, he was off to their house.
Even though granddaughter was not graduating, I so wanted to have the brief visit with her. I hadn't felt really great the day before and after getting all packed with brownies made for granddaughter, I thought I better check my BP and heart rate....holy moly. The heart rate was really high! I took it again a few minutes later...still high. What now! I called my daughter and told her to go without me. I didn't want to run the risk of ruining the trip and ending up in some hospital in OK. I couldn't locate the resident nurse (that's another story) and drove myself to the local ER which sent me on to the hospital for a nuclear lung test to make sure I didn't have a blood clot on my lungs. It took all day mostly spent in waiting rooms...all came back negative and I am fine. Evidently the stress of the whole scene had triggered my tachycardia again. Damn that Lyme Disease which started all this years ago.
So I'm okay but granddaughter isn't. She has multiple stress fractures and was told she will never be able to have a natural child birth. She's in Medical Hold and miserable and has little to do. Of course we are all worried sick (in my case, maybe literally) about her and there is not one damn thing we can do but send her cards and letters, books, coloring books, etc.
But I got a brief respite here at home and He-Who had a great time at his brother's. And life goes on with Alz. Yesterday I found the carton of coffee ice cream in the refrigerator instead of the freezer. Unwashed glasses appear among the mugs on the shelf. His jackets are on the floor in the dining room and he asks me "How did I enjoy the program?" that his brother had taken him to. I had to explain I didn't go. Hmmmm.... he was delighted to be back home with his red broom and sweeping. I'm grateful that the weather has been beautiful and I welcome the sunshine.
We watch the Republican debate on TV and I have to wonder which is crazier...life here in our apartment or what I'm watching on TV. What has happened to the Republicans and what has happened to us as a country that we allow such a debacle to continue? They have lost my respect, much less my vote. Geezus...isn't there someone to step up and stop this craziness?
So what have I learned as a caregiver? I have to pay attention to what is going on with me so I can take care of others! And I think I need to paint!!!