Saturday, April 30, 2016

Life at a snail's pace....

Oh dear....wrestling with high blood pressure and swollen ankles...enough distress to cancel a planned trip to San Antonio to look at a new retirement community there.  It won't be ready until August but I think it is going to be perfect!  Great floor plans and a WASHER and DRYER in a little utility room...Hallelujah, would that ever be nice!  Doc was encouraging me to go on but I'm glad I didn't!  The additional BP med knocked me for a loop!  I was in no shape to drive for sure.  Heart rate crazy and all I wanted to do was sleep.  No energy and I have to be well soon. Off the new med for now and much improved with very skinny ankles and 5# lighter. You think stress might be doing a number here?  DUH!

 I have a ticket to fly to Denver to visit my niece on next Wednesday with my SIL (our annual Mother's Day treat) so home we stayed this weekend.  I was going to leave hubby with our son's family in San Antonio while I was gone but our doc advised against it as it would be too much for hubby and disorienting.  But plans are in place for hubby to stay here with a combination of caregivers and family.  Our granddaughter is going to spend two nights and daughter will come in one day. I've labeled the remote  for the TV as it is confusing for He=Who and have glued a note with his favorite stations on it on the table under the TV.  Instructions to caregivers say leave the TV on MSNBC when they leave.  He doesn't wander (thank goodness) so he will be fine..Whew!  By damn I am going to be on that plane!!!

Last week He-Who finished his shower and came into the living room all dressed and ready to go to lunch.  The weather has been so warm here so he came in wearing the bottoms to his short pajamas.  Cute, huh, but he was happy to change.  A few days ago he came into the living room after eating his breakfast and greeted me with a warm Happy Birthday birthday was weeks ago but hey, I thanked him and have learned to treasure these moments of sweetness.  He was quite proud of himself for remembering that I had a birthday and I am, too.

Monday, April 4, 2016

You gotta have a sense of humor...

The weekend was full of birthday celebration.  Our son came from San Antonio to help me celebrate my hard-to-believe 79th birthday.  We concluded with breakfast out at the Buffalo Grill...always a treat.  He drove us back to Brookdale and was dropping us off in the front on his way out of town.  As I opened my car door, a female resident ran up to the car holding a card and a bouquet of beautiful flowers  shouting "Happy Birthday!".  I was totally puzzled as I hardly know the woman and how did she know it was my birthday???  She took a good look at me and my puzzled "Thank you" and stepped back. "Oh, wrong person.  I thought you were my daughter Laura."  Such is life on the Isle of the Blue Hairs.

Friday, April 1, 2016


Yes, they are both black and there is not much I can do about that!  I've just spent a frustrating hour teaching He-Who_Sleeps-Alot how to use the land line telephone and the TV remote.  He wrote everything down and has now forgotten where he put his notes.  His anxiety is mounting over my departing for 4 days in a couple of weeks.  Lesson for me:  don't tell him until a couple of days before.  I made the mistake of taking him with me to arrange for caregivers to come while I was gone.  My thinking was that if he met with them, he would be more comfortable with the idea.  Wrong!  He can't remember the visit but does remember I am leaving but not when.  Is this a sign we are ready for memory care?  I have mounted in big font important phone numbers right by the phone.  He lost his cell phone weeks ago, no idea where it went...I've searched everywhere.  I cancelled his line as it had not been used in 3 months...he never remembered to take it with him and when he did, he couldn't figure out how to answer it.  The good news it has saved us $100 a month on our bill.

I am still wrestling with being depressed and will talk to the doc about it.  We went to Happy Hour yesterday because He-Who enjoys the music.  I don't even want to go anymore.  The music is so damned loud you can't carry on a conversation I guess because half the people there can't hear well anyway.  Nobody says "Hey, come sit with us."  I'm realizing how isolating this damn disease can be.  The women I enjoy are all widows and get together in clutches and the couples get together but because He-Who doesn't interact we are seldom included unless I push for it.  Am I whining???  Probably but I don't care.

I look at some of these residents and have to wonder why and how do they keep going?  Would I want to keep on keeping on when I can no longer care for myself or contribute in any way other than just maintaining myself?  I'm reading Diane Rehm's new book, On My Own, and it brings up so many questions about life and extending it at what cost to the person and the family.

 Right now physically He-Who is in good shape and most would probably not know anything was amiss until he misses a cue.  What do I mean by that?  Alz people don't pick up on what would be obvious to most of us.  For instance:  he orders shrimp salad for lunch everyday and dips his shrimp in the Ranch dressing rather than the cocktail sauce.  He eats dessert first...all this no big deal.  At a Chinese restaurant large plates are placed in front of us to place servings from the platter of food ordered.  He ignores the plate and eats from the platter.  All of this is no big deal and I ignore it though aware that others dining with us note it.  The point is that it is just some of the little cues that are missed that indicate we have a problem here.  Thank God it isn't a huge one and I remain so grateful for that.

And by God, I am looking to find that joyous person I once was.  Good thing I am going to visit a friend in Tyler for a few days.  Whew!