Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Leaving Mother Earth

There are days when I feel like we have landed on another planet.  Maybe we have and when we fly off the planet to Mother Earth, I know I have changed.  For those of you who have ever been hospitalized, you may recognize the feelings of being dependent and find that those feelings of dependency don't necessarily go away when you return home.  Well, I don't know what to label these feelings I experience but I think they are related.  He-Who has a difficult time with language, calls things by odd names, etc., maybe gets the category but not the thing so some of our dialogue is spent with me trying to interpret what he is aiming for.  This adds to the other planet feeling along with being surrounded by folk using various forms of mechanical devices to get around.  Aliens would feel right at home here or maybe we are the aliens.

But my concern is that now when I leave here and drive out the gate, my confidence level seems to have dropped a peg or two.  Is it the traffic of a very busy city or living in this sheltered community where it could be very simple to just drop out?  Or both?  He-Who seems quite content to watch MSNBC and read the paper but is always ready to hop in the car when necessary.  This is a woman who has driven all over the country and Mexico but now is anxious about finding the new doctor's office a few miles away.  Maybe part of it is living with Alzheimer's which can be like standing on quicksand but how to deal with that?  My life seems to melt away some days dealing with doctor appointments and the pharmacy and I still have to make sure He-Who eats regularly.  Yes, it is a huge help that we get one big meal, sometimes two, prepared for us and a huge help that someone else vacuums and cleans the kitchen and bathrooms. God bless, sweet Rosa. Even Walgreen's delivers to our door...amazing!  I'm not complaining as I am so very grateful that we can live here with this support.  But I want to make sure that we/I  return to Mother Earth regularly.  Maybe tomorrow we will get to a movie.  Next project is shopping for a new car....do I take He-Who with me?  Hmmmm.....

2 comments:

  1. Well, I once read that moving is one of the most stressful things in the world, right along side death, divorce and losing a job. So, give yourself a break. I totally freaked out when I moved into Houston in my early 50's and had to deal with the overwhelming traffic moving at warp speeds. Hang in there! Things were slower in the Bay area........and less complicated in many ways. So adjustment takes time, as you well know. How about if you have a sitter be with Ken one day a week so you can get a break for yourself for a whole day? I would call the Alzheimer's association and see if they have any volunteers who do that!
    My granddaugher, the oldest, had "this too shall pass" tattooed on herself. I nearly fainted, then laughed. It's probably the thing I say the most! Hugs from me for your daily life..........can't wait to see you soon.

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  2. Yes, I think getting out regularly is needed.

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