Depressed? Silly girl.

I keep telling myself that "I can do it, I can do it, I can do it"  but I tell you some days I just want to either scream and scream or go hide somewhere.  It has been a stressful 10 days.  My best friend of 45 years, Betty, who lives here on the same floor, had a health crisis last week.  Her children are scattered so here I am family along with another friend and left to figure out what to do.  Thank God for all the help that this facility can give in a crisis arranging for 24 hour care until we could get her into the hospital.  She has fractured a sacral vertebrae and is in a lot of pain, can't walk even with her walker.  So I was frantically arranging what was possible until her daughter arrived from CA a few days later...whew!  My friend is finally in the hospital and preparing to go to a rehab hospital for several weeks.  We are all relieved.

I did have a melt-down one morning last week.  An email came saying there was an opening left for the writer's retreat in Boulder that I have attended before and loved...I could maybe swing the tuition and room rent for a couple of weeks but not the care for He-Who.  And I realized I am really tired of being around all these old people with all their ailments and complaints.

He-Who-Sleeps-A-Lot doesn't deal with the change in how we operate very well.  For Alz folk change is threatening, confusing and discombobulating.  He is constantly questioning me, checking the calendar, checking the white board, then the same questions all over again.  Of course I'm exhausted from the whole scene with my friend which doesn't help my patience with the repeated questions.  The good news for me however is that Thursday I leave for CO where my niece and her partner will pamper me and my sister-in-law for four wonderful days.  The difficult part of this of course is planning care for He-Who.  He needs lots of warning and repetition of future plans, very specific details of future plans which we go over and over for days prior to the shift.  The original plan was for him to go to San Antonio to our son's home but we were unsure how that was going to happen....remember he needs concrete solid written instructions days ahead of how everything is going to happen.  Well, he also doesn't want to miss the Men's Group Bar-b-que that is going to take place here while I am gone.  So he decided he wants to stay home so that is what we are going to try with hired help coming in for 30 minutes in the morning and again in the evening to check on him.  Hopefully my daughter can come check on him though she is moving that weekend and maybe his brother can drop in on Saturday or Sunday.
.  There is always someone with bigger challenges than me and I have much to be grateful for...I can think, see, hear, walk, drive, sometimes write and make art, someone else cooks and cleans....not too bad for 78.  Stop your whining dear Kay.  Geez, it could be a whole lot worse!!!!