This getting old is really hard work sometimes...

Well, Christmas has really sneaked up on us this year.  I have been wrestling with hip pain and then a week ago was hospitalized with tachycardia...a recurring problem that started with Lyme Disease years ago.  After 4 days in the hospital it seems that when I get chest congestion, it triggers the tachycardia.  Much better now but it sent He-Who into total confusion.  I arranged for some care from Brookdale from the ER but it was upsetting to him and he was still talking about it when I got home from the hospital.  I think we are over the upset now but facing another challenge.  The cardiologist has okayed my hip replacement surgery on Jan. 12.  At least I have time to set up care for He-Who.  I am relieved to finally get this hip pain resolved after months of pain, cortisone shots and physical therapy.  I kept telling the previous docs that it was more a hip problem than a back problem and at last I got to a hip specialist.  Whew!  Family is going to step in to care for us, bless their hearts, and it will put my mind at ease and able to focus on my healing to know that He-Who is being looked after by family.
Our move to San Antonio is on hold for now until I get back on my feet.  Latest report on construction completion is now the end of February.  Perfect!  God does have a way of looking after us.  I will be back on my feet and ready for the challenge.
All our Christmas shopping has been done on the Internet and today the last of the orders arrived.!  Whew again!  I love wrapping gifts and am getting excited about being with family and celebrating the birth of Jesus and new beginnings.  I even made a cake this week for the therapy staff.  Oh my, my baking skills have slipped.  I thought the batter looked very thick and after sticking it in the oven, checked the recipe again.  I had left out the buttermilk so I quickly grabbed the pan, emptied it into a bowl, added the buttermilk and back in the oven it went.  Reminder to self...no distractions, check and recheck!  We will join the Cox tribe for Christmas dinner...our tribe coming from San Antonio and Conroe joining He-Who's twin brother and his family...22 for dinner and way too much fun!  Can't wait!
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all my friends, family and readers.  Thank you for all your comments and support as we make our way on this long journey.

Oh my..I didn't see this coming

     Yesterday a dear friend of many years came to visit us.  She now lives in Tyler so we don't get to see each other as often as I would like.  She and her now deceased husband lived five doors down from us for nearly 18 years and she and I went to grad school together many years ago.  As neighbors and friends we got together as couple and visited back and forth and have known each others children and grandchildren.  Good, good friends!
     He-Who was doing his sweeping thing on the porch when she arrived.  I had told him to expect her and she greeted him warmly with a hug and they chatted for a few minutes.  She came into the apartment and we sat down to chat.  In a few minutes He-Who came in, said hello, put away his red broom and went into the bedroom and went to sleep.  She was gone when he woke up and I mentioned how great it was to have the visit.  He had no idea what I was talking about.  He didn't recognize her and just thought she was a friendly resident.  New marker:  some long-term memory is failing.  I was shocked!  Maybe I shouldn't be but I was.  She was almost family a long time and I just didn't see this coming.  She didn't realize he didn't know her until later when I told her.  Wow!  At least he is still the same ol' sweet friendly guy in so many ways.
     Oh and by the way,  the flatware I ordered on Black Wednesday over the Internet from Macy's is really ugly and now I have to recruit my daughter to help carry this heavy box sitting in our living room back to the store where hopefully I will find something better.  Oh well, win a few, lose a few and we can still manage with the old stuff.

Black Wednesday

No Black Friday for me but I did buy us a Christmas present on the Wednesday before.  When entertaining the last couple of weeks, I became aware that after 58 years of use the set of stainless steel flatware that was a wedding present is missing quite a few essentials...mostly spoons.  Now that the grandchildren are grown I don't have to worry that they are hauling them away to play in the dirt.  I figure 58 years is pretty good mileage and it wouldn't be extravagant to indulge in a whole new set of flatware at the pre-Black Friday big discount...Merry Christmas to us!  Now to make sure that He-Who doesn't throw a piece away.

Yesterday He-Who proudly announced he was headed for the dumpster again holding up 4 plastic wrappers with old newspapers in them.  "Great!" I said and off he went.  He returned 30 minutes later with the empty wrappers.  "So what did you do with the contents?" I asked.  "Oh, I put them in the dumpster."
"So why did you bring back the plastic wrappers?"  "Because I will need them."  Well, guess there's no point continuing this conversation as he added his handful of plastic to the pile in the corner of the living room.  It wouldn't do any good to explain that our newspapers arrive in a plastic wrapper every day giving us an endless supply.  I am concerned that he will be reprimanded for not having the newspaper bagged when thrown in the dumpster but will cross that bridge if it happens.  Harmless enough and he's a happy camper accomplishing his mission.
He's not reading the three papers we take as much anymore but spends lots of time rolling sections back up so they will go back into the wrappers they come in.  Seems like an expensive exercise so I may eliminate one of the papers but which one?  The NY Times or the Wall Street Journal?  I don't think he would miss one but who knows???

Rhonda Rollator

Meet Rhonda the Rollator whom I thought was only going to make a short visit but she is still here and working hard some days.  I'm still having a hard time accepting the fact that I need to use one of these suckers but I am better.  I can walk around the apartment all by myself.  Woohoo!Now the challenge is to get my energy back.  Whew!  I haven't driven our car but twice in the last two months and just across the street to pick up prescriptions.  Geezus!!!

New insights into He-Who-Sleeps-Alot....he wants so much to be helpful but when it came to placing Rhonda in the back of the car, he just couldn't figure out the orientation needed.  Spacial perception is all mixed up which makes me wonder what else must be confusing for him.  I know when walking at night, anything painted dark on the cement appears to be a hole to him and to be avoided.  But what else I wonder and how do I anticipate the problem?

Now that the election is over our challenge is how to occupy He-Who.  Again I am so grateful that we live in this community as there is support available.  Home Health comes 3 or 4 days a week to work with He-Who on memory and physical therapy.  He gets on a stationery bike and does balance and stretching exercises and enjoys it all.  He's not crazy about the memory exercises as it really pushes him but the therapist is delightful so he goes along.  I just wish we had started this program a whole lot sooner but there have been some changes in support therapies here at Brookdale which make it now possible.

Last week I was vegging out on a heating pad while He-Who announced he was going for a walk.  "Wonderful" I said.  About 40 minutes later he marches in grinning like a Cheshire Cat and says, "Look what I found!" and holds up a black plastic bag.  "I found it just sitting there full of stuff."  OMG I'm thinking.  "Where?"  "Over there by that big thing".  ????  With more questions I figured out he had been to the dumpster.  OMG, now he is dumpster diving.  "So what did you do with what was in it?"  "Oh, I put it in the thing."  Never a dull moment.  I am surprised he found his way to the dumpster but we had made a trip the week before.  We don't get garbage pickup on the weekend and as we were having company, we made the trip.  I can see some interesting items appearing on the horizon.

I cancelled our Thanksgiving trip to San Antonio.  I just don't want to miss my PT sessions and risk any set backs to my progress by driving there.  I am bummed out about missing a Watercrest event and being with our son and his in-laws but we will have a lovely dinner with our daughters here.
So much to be thankful for this year.  Our move to San Antonio has been moved out again...now the end of January before our apartment will be ready. Hey, what a blessing is that!  I have more time for recovery with the same docs and we don't have to go nuts during the holidays.  We have a roof over our heads, food to eat, great family and friends...so many blessings.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

A sexy pirate and a fat Wonder Woman

Looking at this, one might wonder which one of us is demented or maybe both!  Would you believe we won first prize for best costumes!  Ya gotta wonder what the competition was!  But Halloween was fun and He-Who-Sleeps-Alot had a great time and we were among the last to leave when the music stopped.
     Our lives continue to be interesting and definitely requires a sense of humor.  I am still in great pain in my knee and hip, on a walker, but hopeful the next trip to the doc will make it all better.  In the meantime He-Who is trying hard to help out which can get very interesting and at times hilarious.  I hired a helper to do the laundry and was busy when she brought the laundry cart back.  Later I looked in the cart to begin to put things away and it was almost empty with just some folded sheets in the bottom.  What?  I voiced my concern and He-Who cheerfully said "Oh, I put the stuff away except for that."  I complimented him on his industry.  Later I found pillowcases in his underwear drawer, my underwear in his sock drawer and his underwear and socks on the floor of his closet.  :)  Bless his heart!!!
     Good news!  I got him signed up for home health physical and memory therapy.  The intake nurse came this week and spent two hours giving the most thorough interview we have had in years!  And He-Who really liked her!  So therapy begins this coming week.  Yay!
     Our daughter has been a saint to drive in and take us to doctors and get us groceries and my sister-in-law is just an angel covering my early morning doc appointments and including us in other events.  He-Who's twin brother has been picking him up and taking him to a class on politics by Richard Murray at the Women's Institute every Tuesday evening.  He-Who so enjoys this and is excited to go.  Of course, he doesn't remember any of the lecture or dialogue but he has a great time and always comes home talking about how great it was.

And I just thought it was slow going....

Oh my, suddenly I find myself among the disabled, hopefully temporarily but not a good place for a caregiver to be.  Some how in our adventures in San Antonio my back decided to give me fits, mostly in hip and leg.  Not that we didn't have a great time in SA but driving home was difficult.  I could hardly drag myself out from behind the wheel.  So life has been interesting since then...wrestling with the Baylor system of doctors, an MRI which shows ruptured discs in lumbar region and a slight fracture.  So now we have welcomed Folly the Rolly (Rollator to the uninitiated) to our family and I have joined the line up of others on walkers around here which is incredibly humiliating for someone who has been as active as I am.  Geezus!  Of course the next project is to paint Folly...right now she is just adorned with ribbons.

So you can imagine how He-Who-Sleeps-Alot is dealing with this...very confusing at times and frustrating.  I spend a lot of time on ice and heat and not doing much else.  He has such a terrible time with any kind of directions.  I asked him to get an ice pack out of the bottom shelf  of the door of the freezer.  He found the freezer but couldn't grasp the whole idea of the door.  I'm in agony from the pain and he is desperate to help, God love 'im.  But finally we worked it out.

But here is the good news.  I found a series on doctor interviews on a website called Awakening Alzheimer's, excellent and interesting and some supplements were suggested. The website isn't selling them but I ordered them from Vitacost and began giving them to He-Who.  By damn, I think I see a difference!  I think the combination of my needs now and the supplements have lit some kind of fire in him.  He actually volunteered to take a walk by himself the other day and he is trying so hard to help me around the apartment.

And I swear but the Goddess does step in to look after us.  I was so concerned about the potential move the end of November not knowing exactly how this back thing is going to turn out.  I don't want to have to change doctors mid-stream or start all over again with a new team in San Antonio.  Well, folks, Watercrest at the Dominion now says our apartment won't be ready until the first of the year, January!  That certainly takes the pressure off trying to accomplish that event during the holidays.  The whole family is going "whew"!  I can't get upset...we have a roof over our heads and food to eat...lots better off than much of the world, back pain or no back pain.
Daughter has been great driving in to take me to the doctor and get groceries, meds, etc.  I have hired someone to come in and do the laundry once a week.
I have a doc appointment Monday to prepare to get shots in my back...send good thoughts that they work.  I missed Book Club but am reading the book, House Rules by Jodi Picoult, excellent. Life is good and I am grateful for all the good in the world.  Now to just get Hillary elected...Dump the Trump, he is a disaster.

Just know that when the caregiver goes down, everything gets even slower, much slower.

It's slow going

This has been the scene in the living room for almost a week now.  In preparation for our move to San Antonio I have asked He-Who-Sleeps-Alot to go through stacks of papers that we moved here two years ago and have not been touched since placed on a book shelf.  It is very slow going and I'm in a quandry.  He is going through and reading them all and enjoying the memories or is he?  I can't tell.  I can only tell that so far very little is being thrown away.  Many of these pages are duplicates.  Do I just go in and pitch them while he is sleeping?  In prep for the move here my son helped quite a bit and found our marriage certificate in one of the piles.????  What was that about?

The community in San Antonio or at least our part of it now will not be ready until the end of November.  I refuse to get worried about it as there is nothing I can do but wait.  We are going back on September 27 for another gathering of the future residents.  I so want us to get connected with some folk before we move in and we enjoyed the last gathering.  The group looks much more active than what we have experienced here.  At each visit I hope to get a better picture of what life will be like and what activities will be available.

I am so going to miss my poetry community here.  Yesterday the Gulf Coast Poets hosted Mutabilis Press and their most recent anthology, Untamed City, for a reading.  I was one of 12 reading and it was such fun being back with my tribe.  I had a reconnect with a dear fellow poet who lost her husband a year ago to dementia.  Once a caregiver I think it creates a special bond with others who have had or are having similar experiences.  Geez, it's everywhere!  Hardly a family that hasn't been touched in some way by dementia of some form, Alzheimer's or Lewy Body.

We have been meeting He-Who's twin brother and wife for fish tacos every Sunday night for several weeks now and He-Who so enjoys getting out.  Beginning this week his brother will take him again to a class at the Women's Institute on the current political scene, a continuation of the class in the spring and summer.  He-Who really enjoys going even if he can't remember what was discussed.  I am so grateful for this.
I constantly try to remind myself to be grateful for our moments of clarity and for all the support.  We celebrated 58 years of marriage last Monday...many moments to treasure.