Monday morning the doctor calls. They took He-Who to x-ray to check again for pneumonia and he went into cardiac arrest. They resusitated him and he is in ICU on a ventilator. Chris is there, Keith and Sue are there and I'm home throwing up. I don't see how I can get there. The doc tells Sue to come and get me sick or no and she did.
At the hospital now are Karen, Nancy, Taylor and her boyfriend, Lance, Chris, Keith and Sue. They got me a wheel chair and into ICU I go. It is clear He-Who is unresponsive. His eyes are closed and he doesn't respond when I squeeze his hand. I am in shock...how can this be? It is all wrong! I tell him I love him close to his ear and pray he can hear me. No deep breaths even with the ventilator. We say our goodbyes and I leave the room. The nurse brings me the papers to sign to take him off the ventilator. It is clear that his quality of life will never be good and it is the right thing to do but so hard. I lay down for a while in the waiting room, then go back in to say goodbye again. The daughters say goodbye, Karen adding "Geez, Dad, if you didn't want to move, you coulda just said so." Chris will stay until the end but sobbing I head out the door. Keith and Sue take me home.
I don't know how to do this! I've never been a widow! What am supposed to do? I think I am too sick to stay but it is so hard to leave, so hard to say goodbye. I love you! I love you!
Tuesday, May 30, 2017
He-Who not improving! February 25 and 26
I returned to the hospital Saturday morning and find He-Who quite listless. His color isn't good and he still has the terrible cough. He doesn't want to converse and I let him rest. It is obvious he isn't eating much. I call our son and give him the update and tell him I think he should come. I am really worried!!!
At noon I try again to get him to eat. There is shrimp on the menu, a favorite of his but I can only get him to eat a couple. He seems to have difficulty getting anything down, even swallowing is a challenge.
I decide to go home in the late afternoon and make a brief appearance at the party. The hospital has my number if needed.
Polly had a lovely good-bye cake for us and friends were most gracious and understanding in their goodbyes. I am feeling worse and worse physically and crash into bed after another round of medicine.
Today is Karen's birthday. Chris arrives and takes over for a while as by now I am really sick. I am just too sick to get to the hospital today and if I have a different bug than He-Who's, I am afraid to expose him. He doesn't seem any better. The doc calls and is moving him into ICU to keep a closer eye on him. I am so worried! Do the new nurses know he has Alzheimer's and can't respond normally? That he is hard of hearing and can't see without his glasses?
Pray everyone, pray!
At noon I try again to get him to eat. There is shrimp on the menu, a favorite of his but I can only get him to eat a couple. He seems to have difficulty getting anything down, even swallowing is a challenge.
I decide to go home in the late afternoon and make a brief appearance at the party. The hospital has my number if needed.
Polly had a lovely good-bye cake for us and friends were most gracious and understanding in their goodbyes. I am feeling worse and worse physically and crash into bed after another round of medicine.
Today is Karen's birthday. Chris arrives and takes over for a while as by now I am really sick. I am just too sick to get to the hospital today and if I have a different bug than He-Who's, I am afraid to expose him. He doesn't seem any better. The doc calls and is moving him into ICU to keep a closer eye on him. I am so worried! Do the new nurses know he has Alzheimer's and can't respond normally? That he is hard of hearing and can't see without his glasses?
Pray everyone, pray!
Thursday, February 23 and Friday, February 24
He-Who is no better...has terrible cough and feels warm. Yep--he has a temp of 101. So off we go to Park Plaza Hospital's ER as I feel we may get better service. This time the ER doc seems concerned. The decision is made to keep him overnight and get another chest x-ray. I'm not feeling well but I stayed until he got into a room and made sure he ate some supper. His appetite seems okay and I am glad he felt well enough to eat something.
Exhausted I headed for home and sleep.
He-Who's brother and wife came to check on He-Who. Tests came back negative for pneumonia so the doc thinks it's just a severe bronchial infection and put him on antibiotics.
How can sitting in the hospital room all day be so exhausting? I'm downing Vitamin C and Mucinex but am feeling worse and worse. Polly is planning a going-away party for us tomorrow night at her house. We just have to feel better!
Exhausted I headed for home and sleep.
He-Who's brother and wife came to check on He-Who. Tests came back negative for pneumonia so the doc thinks it's just a severe bronchial infection and put him on antibiotics.
How can sitting in the hospital room all day be so exhausting? I'm downing Vitamin C and Mucinex but am feeling worse and worse. Polly is planning a going-away party for us tomorrow night at her house. We just have to feel better!
Wednesday, February 22
Daughter Karen came to help with packing, etc. but Ken woke up with a terrible cough. He was dragging yesterday but today very congested. It is clear he is not well so off to St. Luke's ER we went. I thing we both have some kind of bug! Hopefully not the awful one that has been going around Brookdale. With Alzheimer's it is so hard to tell just how one feels as they lack the sensitivity to their own bodies and are unable to describe what is going on.
The ER doc ordered x-rays and said his lungs looked okay and sent him home with the precaution that if he develops a fever, bring him back. I fixed him some soup and put him to bed. Karen cleaned the refrigerator and left hoping she doesn't catch whatever we have.
The ER doc ordered x-rays and said his lungs looked okay and sent him home with the precaution that if he develops a fever, bring him back. I fixed him some soup and put him to bed. Karen cleaned the refrigerator and left hoping she doesn't catch whatever we have.
Thank God for help!
Thank God our daughters came to help go through the kitchen and clean out the pantry. Anything open, we pitched. I'm just not sure how much room I will have in the new kitchen. At least I will have a washer and dryer and a full size refrigerator.
He-Who is beginning to be anxious and asks over and over again when we are leaving. I'm trying to keep things as normal as possible but not feeling up to snuff...still achy and congested.
In the meantime our daughter-in-law and son are going full steam ahead with birthday party plans at their house. The invitations are out and lots of friends and family have said they plan to come. The grandkids are planning to be there...first day of spring break. The last time we had all the Cox family together was for the twins 85th birthday last year.
I just have to get well...not sleeping well and just can't seem to get my snap back.
He-Who is beginning to be anxious and asks over and over again when we are leaving. I'm trying to keep things as normal as possible but not feeling up to snuff...still achy and congested.
In the meantime our daughter-in-law and son are going full steam ahead with birthday party plans at their house. The invitations are out and lots of friends and family have said they plan to come. The grandkids are planning to be there...first day of spring break. The last time we had all the Cox family together was for the twins 85th birthday last year.
I just have to get well...not sleeping well and just can't seem to get my snap back.
February 15 and 16
I'm still not up to speed and only driving to Walgreen's around the corner and the Post Office. Frequently I wake up at night with hip pain and just can't seem to get my energy back. And damn! We are preparing to move!! I have contacted Comfort Moves and Marylynne. She and her wonderful crew came and packed up my studio and all the art work. The dining room is full of boxes. Nephew Greg came for the coffee table and the big mirror in the bedroom. That pretty much leaves our clothes and the kitchen. He-Who has long since given up using his computer and desk so I will use his desk in our new place and give mine to granddaughter Kate.
He-Who seems to be handling it all pretty well and getting a little excited about the move. As long as he has TV and the newspaper keeps comming and he can get to the dining room table, he's a happy camper.
Comfort Moves will come back on Monday and Tuesday of next week to finish packing. We will go stay at Keith and Sue's and the movers are scheduled to load on Wednesday, March 1. Yikes! Looks like we are finally going to get to San Antonio. I gave the Post Office our new address so it feels official.
We spent the day getting rid of more stuff and running some pre-move errands. I played Mexican train dominoes at Polly Clark's as I will not have another opportunity. He-Who was asleep when I got home. I'm not feeling well--achy and have some congestion. Ellen Orsburn wasn't feeling well either and we hops we aren't coming down the the crud that is going around Brookdale. A couple of people have been hospitalized with it.
It's kinda weird walking around the apartment with all the boxes but it won't be long now.
He-Who seems to be handling it all pretty well and getting a little excited about the move. As long as he has TV and the newspaper keeps comming and he can get to the dining room table, he's a happy camper.
Comfort Moves will come back on Monday and Tuesday of next week to finish packing. We will go stay at Keith and Sue's and the movers are scheduled to load on Wednesday, March 1. Yikes! Looks like we are finally going to get to San Antonio. I gave the Post Office our new address so it feels official.
We spent the day getting rid of more stuff and running some pre-move errands. I played Mexican train dominoes at Polly Clark's as I will not have another opportunity. He-Who was asleep when I got home. I'm not feeling well--achy and have some congestion. Ellen Orsburn wasn't feeling well either and we hops we aren't coming down the the crud that is going around Brookdale. A couple of people have been hospitalized with it.
It's kinda weird walking around the apartment with all the boxes but it won't be long now.
Just stuff and more stuff
We have downsized once but it is amazing how much stuff one can accumulate in 2 1/2 years...along with stuff we should have left behind in the first move. He-Who had boxes of papers from his days at NASA. God love the man! He caught on the the need to get rid of some of these boxes and has started going through them. And he loves doing it! It gives him something to accomplish. They bring forth the memories of all his days at JSC, the books he has written, etc. So for 2 or 3 times a week he is spending a couple of hours sorting through his boxes. Who woulda thunk this possible! And I am so grateful!.
It looks like I will be strong enough to move the first week of March. I've cleared the date with Watercrest and our son. I saw the hip doctor this week and she declared me free of PT. Yay! Though I will miss the sweet therapists! He-Who will, too. He enjoyed walking there with me.
It looks like I will be strong enough to move the first week of March. I've cleared the date with Watercrest and our son. I saw the hip doctor this week and she declared me free of PT. Yay! Though I will miss the sweet therapists! He-Who will, too. He enjoyed walking there with me.
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